the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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