bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
