So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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