clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
