If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
