you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
