That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
