did you get engaged???
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
