You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she told me i tasted like america
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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