I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
