I cockslap morals
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He did a backflip because drugs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
