Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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