I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
