i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
