i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Buhtt sex?
you traded sex for a burrito?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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