Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
