But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
