dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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