So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
kristin has been a bad kristin
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
