talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
