we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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