whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
