I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
