whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
