just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
