If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
