just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
