How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize