better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
