worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
