I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
