Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Operation Purity has been aborted
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
