I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize