he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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