The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Still dying that you shit outside
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize