new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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