yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
