how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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