at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it was like eating out sand paper
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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