Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
