We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
