he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
