theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
