i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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