How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
