absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
