none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
