Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
third nipple confirmed
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
