What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize