Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
