Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
