I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
