did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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