i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
