What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
