your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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