I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
