You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
