The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize