I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
