my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
