Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
