In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
