My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
